My entire perspective is changing through this entire process. I never had a father growing up so I’ve always had a very jaded view of men. I’ve never trusted them. And I’ve always thought that if a woman was mad at a man for something, it was the man’s fault. I’ve never understood why a man would walk away from his child in a divorce or otherwise. It’s never made sense to me why a man wouldn’t pay child support to his wife either. Until now. I voluntarily pay child support to my wife. I’ve been very cooperative throughout this entire separation. I’ve agreed to leave the electricity in my name so that she didn’t have to pay $500 to get it in her name. I turned the cable back on and left it in my name so she could have cable tv. And I still pay her phone bill. I do these things not because I owe her or because I’m trying to get something back from her, but because I love her. She is my wife and I love her very much. As thanks, I am threatened with having the police called on me, she won’t talk to me except via email or text messaging. And she refuses to stop being hostile towards me so that our son doesn’t feel conflicted about spending time with me. She has also made it clear that even though she won’t stand in the way of my son and I having a relationship, she won’t assist me in maintaining the relationship. Nice.
For very brief moments, I entertain the notion of just walking away from the both of them. My relationship with my son is strained admittedly because of me, but I’m trying to rebuild it. And instead of recognizing the effort and supporting it, she would rather piss on it. Now I’m trying to get a house so that when we get back together, we have a nice place to live that will hopefully produce some income. We’re going to need it when our son goes off to college. I’m going through a program that will help me get the property with no money down, no closing costs, no points, no, PMI and a 3.75% interest rate. However, since we are married she has to come to that first meeting with all of her financial information and she refuses to do it which means that I can’t go through the program. Unbelieveable!
I can totally understand how a man could get so fed up with having to deal with his ex-wife that he would stop paying child support or stop seeing his child. It’s ALMOST too much trouble. But the child is the most important part of this equation and when one party isn’t willing to make it easier for their child, you have to wonder if it’s worth it to try and work things out. And it’s very hard to remember that the money you’re paying is for your child and not for her. It just feels like it’s helping her out though and I know that if the situation were reversed, she wouldn’t do the same thing for me. So it’s really hard for me to be the bigger person here and continue to help pay child support voluntarily. I know it’s the right thing to do, but it’s very hard. And I struggle with myself every day.
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